To Sleep or Not to Sleep

When you have young children it's amazing the things you spend the most time discussing and wondering about.  Pottying and sleeping have always been two big topics for us.  From the time someone first mentioned to me that I should start trying to potty train Melanie at the age of 22 months until she made it through her first week of preschool accident free which was at 36 months we talked so much about peeing and pooping that I thought I was going to scream if I had to think about it one more minute.  The issue of sleep takes a close second in the amount of discussion time it has been given. 

Melanie has always been a good sleeper except the first six weeks of her life was pure hell in the sleep department.  I seriously think someone needs to invent some machine that runs from mom to baby in bassinet so that newborns can self feed because being up every two hours is insane.  Six weeks to three months was better.  We slowly increased the amount of food which meant she slept longer at one time.  At three months we turned the corner and I no longer felt like a zombie.  If feeding was timed just right Charles could do the final feeding of the night and she would sleep for 5-6 hours which meant that I could get a WHOLE night of sleep and she took two naps a day.  HEAVEN!!!!  Since being a year she has slept 11 hour nights AND takes a 1 1/2-2 hour nap EVERY day.  I thought that was an awful lot of sleeping but then again she does not stop moving when she is awake so it's a pretty fair trade. 

Lately she has been getting up earlier and earlier and earlier.  This doesn't bother me so much during the week because I am up but it is killing me on the weekends.  I thought it was because of summer and the stupid time change and the light pouring through the window and I was considering buying the thickest curtains I could find or even bricking up her windows if necessary, anything to sleep past 6:00 on a Saturday morning.  Until...........one day when she didn't get a nap and then slept the next day until 7:30 and it hit me that maybe she has reached the stage where she no longer really needs a nap. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  I count on that time on the weekends. I NEED a nap and it is the only time I can get one. 

So, the discussions and contemplating have begun.  She can easily still fall asleep for a nap but it does mean if she gets a good one in she will not sleep past 6:00 the next morning.  I have considered maybe only naps every other day which is what I believe she converts to at preschool this August.  I have also considered a "quiet time" at the same time as nap time where I put her in bed but give her a basket of books or her V-Reader and set the timer for an hour.  If she is asleep after that I will let her sleep a little while longer, if not, she can get off her bed and let the madness continue.

Thoughts? Experiences?  Feedback?  Certainly not the biggest dilemma I will face but gathering input is always good.  Now off for a nap....... :)

A post would not be complete without pictures so here are some of my favorite sleeping pics....

Mel asleep in her swing at 8 months

Zonked out in the car at around 6 months

Mel asleep in the car on our last trip to San Francisco, April 2012

Mel asleep at an Aces game (first season)

On the way home from the zoo January 2012

We Got a Fish

For those of you who are new parents, read this post carefully for it contains wisdom no one ever passed on to us as new parents.  You would have thought that in all the advice given to us over the years about discipline, potty training, sleeping and eating habits and all the things to avoid and /or do, someone would have warned us about birthday parties and getting pets.........now please stop laughing at us and tell us what to do with these fish!

Melanie turned four a week ago and all she wanted for her birthday was a party at one of those kid places where it's "all inclusive" and they run the whole party for you, stress free (sounds too good to be true, huh???? just wait) and for her gift, a fish.  I worked on the party first.  I set aside a Saturday morning to call the place and talk with them about the details and then decided to make her invitations online so I could crop a picture of her on it.  Booking the place and setting the details was a piece of cake.  Life was good.  Then came the invites.  Melanie could not decide on a theme and wanted two different ones actually (super heroes where I could put her in as Super Woman for the boys, and Ariel the Little Mermaid for the girls).  I spent more time then I should have explaining why she could only have one theme, sometimes "because I said so" really is the right answer. Needless to say I could not find either which began a two hour session of me creating invites in a variety of characters I thought she might like and her not liking any of them.  At that point I was no longer enjoying myself so I told her I would just make whatever I wanted which is what I did.  I found a website with cute little girlie backgrounds ( no characters attached) and cropped her picture onto it.  I filled in all the details, showed it to her and her answer was............."Perfect momma, why didn't you make it that way to start?"  Needless to say I decided it was nap time then.  What I did not anticipate was all the "little" things you will do to prepare for a birthday: cake, balloons, goodie bags, extra food and drinks, extra socks for the bounce structures, etc.  I took endless trips to stores for just one more thing.  Did I mention, she settled on Tinker Bell as a theme and requested I redo her invites in Tinker Bell, one look at my face when she asked and then said, "It's okay momma, I like them the other way too." 

Reserved party place where kiddos can jump and go crazy = $289, Goodie bags and balloon order = $82.00, Sheet cake that was way too big that the bakery lady talked me into = $40.00, Extra food and drinks = $45.00, The fun the kids had and the pure joy on my daughters face to spend her special day with her friends = PRICELESS!  What my husband gave since I didn't warn him about the bill ahead of time = FORGIVENESS! ;-)  It was a wonderful day, would not have changed it for the world.

So the party was over and it was time to focus on Melanie's second request, a fish.  How hard can that be???  We went to the pet store and headed straight for the aquariums to pick one out.  They had many different sizes and designs priced anywhere from $20.00 to thousands of dollars.  Not sure what we wanted we headed to the fish area to pick out some fish.  Melanie looked them all over and chose some fan tailed goldfish so I called the lady over and she asked me how big my tank was and I informed her we didn't have one.  Thus started an education I never asked for.  She responded, "Oh you won't be taking those fish home today lady."  Thus began the lecture on how we would have to take the tank home, set it up, and allow it to run for 24 hours before we could put fish in it.  That was 20 minutes of my life I will never get back.  I then proceeded to get the "pretty stuff" to decorate the inside.  An older lady was parked right in front of the fake plant stuff.  At first I waited thinking, "How long can this take?"  After about 10 minutes I decided to collect everything else I needed and come back.  Ten minutes later I returned and she was still there literally looking back and forth between two fake looking plants that looked almost identical both costing $8.99.  Fearing that the thoughts in my head may slip out of my mouth at any moment I decided we didn't need fake looking plants and we proceeded to the register.  When the lady told me it would cost $91.00 I almost choked.  As I paid, she asked Melanie what type of fish she was getting and Melanie told her and her response was "Ewww, they can be really dirty!"  Nice sales technique and nice way to crush the dreams of a four year old who thinks that goldfish are awesome.  We left, we went home, and we set up our new "environment".  Melanie was soooooooo excited, Charles couldn't believe it was costing us $100 and I just wondered what happened to the day when you could get a goldfish in a bag, a glass bowl ON THE SAME DAY, spend $10 and have your first pet.  Ahhhhh, those were the days.  I took my Geritol and went to bed. ;-) 



Melanie and her new fish.  You try to say no to that face. ;-)


The next day we went to buy the fish waiting precisely 24 hours and guess what.....the pet store was closed.  That should have been a sign but nooooooooooo I used my smart phone and found one that was open and off we went to buy the fish of my little girls' dreams if it killed me.  We bought our fish and got them home and introduced them to their new home.  Melanie loved them instantly.  She has responsibly fed them every day for the past week and checks on them day and night.  Exactly one week later and the tank is leaking near the filter and one little guy (Dory) is not looking so good.  I suspect we will have a flushing ceremony by weeks end.  As I tell people this story they all say "Oh yeah......" and some story follows about goldfish not being great fish to get.  Where was this helpful advice weeks ago when I thought this was the best idea ever?  I guess we will wait and see.  Pray for little Nemo and Dory.  Pray for Mel when their time does come.  Pray that the new fish that I am sure we will get will like it's new "environment" more than these seem to.  I will pray for all you new parents out there for you too will have at least one birthday party that you will wonder what you were thinking when you add up the money and time you spent on it and that first pet that you weren't nearly as prepared for as you thought you were.  Ahhhh, the blessings of parenthood.

A Year in the Life of Melanie

This entry is dedicated to my mom.  The hardest thing about my mom not being here to talk to is that on days when difficult or super exciting things happen with Melanie I don't have her to share them with. She would totally understand my tears of pain and/or joy and my poor husband wouldn't have to just hand me tissues wondering when I am going to stop blubbering like an idiot. :)  By the way, thank you honey for never making me feel like I'm crazy during those moments, you're the best!  See, my mom was the same way, she would cry when we cried and also cry just out of pure pride.  I have had many of these mixed emotional moments over the past year with Melanie as we have survived 3 year old Teacher Marie Bootcamp at the Magic Treehouse.

Survived is really the wrong word to use because it makes it sound like it was difficult.  It was not.  For those of you that don't know about the Magic Treehouse, it is the most amazing preschool I have ever been to.  It is an old victorianish looking house that has been transformed into a preschool.  It has a great yard with an actual treehouse on the playground that the kids love to play in.  It is green and lush and the kind of place you could easily spend a summer afternoon relaxing in.  But that is not the magical part, the magical part is the ladies who run it.  They have now been doing this for 25 years and have created a kid centered learning environment that all children thrive in based on love and discipline and lots of learning.  Your stay at the treehouse begins with Teacher Marie.  She has easily become a member of our family loving our little girl for exactly who she is and yet still helping her to grown into what she can become.  It was easy to "survive" the year with her and we'd do it again every year if we could.  The word bootcamp sounds harsh too but it is just that, the year is spent preparing them for how to be students in much the same way a military bootcamp prepares soldiers for battle.  The daily routines and lessons are put in place so that these little minds and bodies will be ready to take on all the knowledge they will need for success.  Unlike the military though, these children are treated as precious individuals each given what they need to be the best they can be.  They are loved beyond measure.  Of course I did not know it would be this fabulous before we started.  I did my research and observed and hoped and prayed that it would be great but you can never really tell what will happen.  However, know or not know, I still would have bawled my eyes out the day I left her there for the first time because it's hard.  It's hard to watch your little girl grow up. It's hard to leave her with people you don't know.  It's hard to leave her knowing she's nervous about doing something new.  It's just hard.  But I did leave her and as she waved to me from the waving window with tears in her eyes and I waved back with tears in mine I knew she would be fine and I knew it would be a year of blossoming....

Melanie's First day of Preschool at the Magic Treehouse





Water Day at the Treehouse with her good friend Ethan

 

Super Hero at the Treehouse (thanks uncle Larry for the cape)

Hawaiian Luau Day at the Treehouse

St. Jude Trike-a-Thon (learning to give to others)

Pumpkin Decorating for the Treehouse

Ariel at Halloween

Melanie and her friend Lola Jean at the Thanksgiving Feast
They had Mac-n-Cheese at the 1st Thanksgiving right???

School Picture

Before School Doughnuts....YUM!

Melanie's Dance Recital

Our gift to Teacher Marie to thank her for all the "gifts" she gave to us.



It has been a year we will never forget and will always be grateful for. Melanie is now a Rainbow at the Magic Treehouse and we are excited about her upcoming year with Teacher Denise.  Did she cry her first day of being a Rainbow? Did I?  Of course we did.  It's just hard.  But a text telling me she was doing great, a prayer that God will be with her, and a silent moment remembering that Mom watches over her always (probably with tears of pride in her eyes) and I had a good day.  The smile when I picked her up that first day told me she did too.

Moving On

I think most people know by now that my father passed away on Tuesday, April 24th after a year long battle with lung cancer.  Mom passed away 7 1/2 years ago from pancreatic/liver cancer.  The biggest difference in the two situations for me was.......Melanie. 

When Mom died I stayed in Sierra Vista for two weeks and helped Dad with all the details and things that needed attention and by the time I made it back home to Phoenix life had just moved on as if nothing had happened.  While I was surrounded by my amazing husband and wonderful friends it was such a lonely feeling because we as adults really tend to tip toe around death and ask each other in almost a rhetorical way "how are you?" or "is everything okay?".  Let's face it, if we asked someone those questions and they actually broke down throwing them self on the floor bawling uncontrollably (which is kind of what you feel like doing sometimes), people would back away awkwardly wishing they would have just resisted the urge to ask in the first place.  So when someone asks how you're doing after losing someone close to you, the response is usually "hanging in there" or " we're taking it day by day" which is also true and certainly causes much less of a scene even if you tear up when saying it.  So I have been asked that magical questions in person, through emails and texts, and voice mails at least 100 times in the past week and my response is..........we are taking it day by day and this time I can say that we truly are but mainly because of Melanie.  God has worked wonders through her. :)

While I am quite biased by being her mommy, Melanie is amazing.  She tears up with me when emotion is overwhelming, always knows when I need a big hug and never lets much time pass without telling me that she loves me.  She also initiates a conversation about her Grandpa at least once a day.  This does two things for me, one it helps me to know that she is processing things in a very healthy manner which really was my biggest concern through all this and two it helps us both to remember Grandpa and celebrate all the things we loved about him.  Every day she will ask a question like, "Grandpa won't be able to come over for dinner again or Grandpa won't be able to come and watch me dance will he?"  While these seem heartbreaking and I usually tear up for a moment every time she says something like that, it is always followed up with a story of when Grandpa did do something fun with us so we end up laughing and snuggling. 

Mel and I snuggling at Pier 39 in San Francisco

Her favorite seems to be chocolate milk.  Before Dad got sick he used to pick Melanie up from daycare at least once a week and would take her to the playground and then back to his condo for snack and playtime.  Snack was ALWAYS chocolate milk and some kind of cookie.  A mother's dream. ;-)  Melanie of course was bouncing around by the time I got there and Dad would just shrug at me and smile.  The privilege of being a grandparent I guess. Mel's had a few chocolate milk's at home since Grandpa passed which always leads to a story about her and Grandpa after school.  Apparently snack time with Grandpa also included M'n'M's most of the time.  :) 

Mel, Grandpa, Droopy, and Elmo having a Tea Party

I look forward to mine and Mel's moments of reflection and memories about Grandpa. While I know they may not remain a daily occurrence as time goes on, they have helped us all move on day by day feeling loved and blessed and knowing Grandpa and Grandma are smiling down on us remembering the good times and planning for the day we all meet up again.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, love, support, and for being brave enough to ask how it's going. ;-)  Lots of love from our home to yours!

What Do You Say?

Well tonight I delivered what I think was the most difficult news I have ever delivered in my life.  I've delivered a lot of bad news over the years.  In my years as an assistant principal I would have to tell parents things that you could visibly see broke their hearts about their children.  When my mom died I called several of her family members to break the news which was expected because she had pancreatic cancer but still so hard to say knowing how it would crush someone. 

But tonight was different, for the first time I physically hurt as I broke my little girls' heart when I had to tell her that her Grandpa is dying.  Dad was diagnosed almost a year ago to the day with lung cancer and so we have been talking to her about Grandpa being "sick" and have even had to explain the difference between "cold sick" and "cancer sick".  She has seen him decline from visit to visit but he has always been up and around to play with her or give her loves or force himself through a Dora episode. 

Now he is bed bound and sleeping more than he is awake so we know we probably only have a few weeks left and I felt like we needed to tell her now so she could talk with him a few more times and hopefully understand when he can no longer talk and then eventually passes.  I knew she would be upset but nothing prepares a mommy heart to have her child sob uncontrollably in her arms for over ten minutes and know there is really nothing you can do to take her hurt away. 

I just pray she holds tight to her wonderful memories and feels how much her Grandpa loves her.  She was the sparkle in his life the past four years and nothing gave me more joy than to watch my little princess bring him so much pure joy.  God Bless them both and may God bring Dad peace and Melanie the understanding she needs to handle this and hold her memories tight so that they bring her great joy.  I love you Dad and we will miss you more than you know.  I love you sweet Melanie with all my heart.  I wish I could take your pain away and replace it with nothing but joy, memories and love from Grandpa.

Melanie and Grandpa hanging out together.

How Was I Made????

This blog was started so that I can record my memories of Melanie and all the funny little stories we have together but unfortunately I don't get on to blog as often as I would like........something to work on.  However, this was one of my favorite memories of Melanie on our recent trip to Arizona.

Time is such a relative thing to young children.  They really do not understand how far off tomorrow, next week, or next year is so I try very hard to not tell Melanie about something we are going to do in the future unless I want to answer five million (and no that is NOT an exaggerated number) questions about it.  So about a week before we were going on our trip to Arizona I mentioned it to Melanie.  She asked a lot of questions about why we were going, who we would see, what we would do, etc.  The typical questions.  She also asked me what I liked about Arizona.  I told her of course one of the things I liked the most about it was that it was where she was born.  That of course made her smile. 

On the fourth day of our trip we were driving around looking for where we were supposed to be going.  I wouldn't say we were lost because I knew exactly where we were, I just didn't know exactly how to get where I wanted to be.  As I am talking to myself about how I hate Phoenix traffic and how confusing the area was Melanie reminds me that I really love it here and I had told her so.  She is awesome at correcting me and reminding me of what I say by the way.  She also then reminded me that she was born there.  She then asked, "Momma, did you and dad make me here?"  Easy question, I got this one, "Yes honey, we made you here."  Then she asks, "What did you make me out of, Lego's or wood?"  Luckily she only gave me two choices because had she left it open ended I may have been caught so off guard that I may not have known how to answer.  I also LOVE how children relate everything to their prior knowledge.  So I responded with, "Well Melanie, God actually made you."  A little exasperated because I wasn't really answering what she wanted to know she said, "Okay, what did HE make me out of?"  I of course said, "God made you out of love honey." She responded with, "He's good at making stuff and I'm glad He didn't use Lego's because when I got too tall I would have broken and crashed down like this, CRASH."  And that was that, no further commentary.  Thank goodness she was good with that...........for now anyway.

Lesson learned, next time spring for the GPS in the rental so you don't end up with endless amounts of time in the car to talk about things like where do babies come from.

Melanie cruising in the car the first day she had her big girl car seat, now she is almost ready for just a booster.

Home Away from Home

The question I have been asked the most in the past three days is, "How was your trip?"  Melanie and I went to spend a week in Arizona which isn't that unusual.  We have made several trips back to Arizona since moving to Reno 3 1/2 years ago.  This one was a little different.  It wasn't a business trip but it also wasn't just for pleasure.  I had been feeling like I had gotton so wrapped up in life and the day to day things you do that I needed an emotional break with people who have known me forever to get a little grounded and refresh my perspective.  To fully understand we have to take a step back to a day in December.......

The old saying, when it rains, it pours could not have been more true than one Monday this past December when it seemed like there was nothing but an endless supply of bad news.  I start every work day bright and early around 5:00.  I am the only one up and I begin my routine of getting ready which includes some quiet time on the couch reading emails, texts, Facebook, etc. and thinking over my day.  As I checked each form of technological communication I learned the following:

1.  A dear friend from high school had been told he was losing his battle with cancer and had less than a year to live.
2.  Another dear friend and pastor who I had worked for was diagnosed with throat and tongue cancer that would probably take his voice for at least the better part of a year and he would be going through major surgery and treatments.
3.  One of the groomsmen from our wedding had lost his wife in a tragic boating accident.
4.  Two of my uncles had lost their mothers (seperate families).

All of this amongst the fact that my own dad was losng his battle with cancer and going through a tough time.  It seemed every email, text, voicemail, etc that I attended to had tragic news that literally left you speechless and just heartbroken for the people so directly effected by it.  I didn't know who to call or email first and whatever do you say.  So I prayed.  I prayed and then shared all of the news with Charles and we went about our day in a stunned and overwhelmed manner.  Aside from praying, my next instinct was that I wanted to be there for these people to offer whatever comfort I could and since several of these circumstances were occuring in Arizona it seemed a trip was fitting but not in God's plan.  As I looked at making arrangements to go it was just not possible with what we had going on here with our own family.  But I have learned over the years (and it was a TOUGH lesson for me) to wait on God's timing so I did. 

Melanie and I were able to make the trip just last week and it was...... blessed.  Like most trips to Arizona it was a whirlwind as there are so many people to see and yet still plan things to keep my preschooler occupied. 

I got to see the dear friend who was told he is losing his battle with cancer.  He is still fighting.  It is heartbreaking to me that he and his family have to go through this and far beyond my comprehension of why things like this happen but being in his home is inspiring and you can't leave without feeling blessed for having been there and shared time with them. 

I got to see my dear friend and pastor who has completed his surgery with AMAZING success and has finished all treatments to keep those nasty cancer germs from popping up somewhere.  While he has some "battle wounds"  he has NOT lost his voice, his ability to eat on his own, or his amazing spirit.  Endless praises to God for how He has seen him through this horrific battle. 

I got to see my aunt and uncle and offer hugs and condolences for their loss in December and really enjoyed a wonderful visit.  Aside from these three very important visits that were so crucial for me because we are often not able to be there for people in the way we want to because of living so far away, we got to visit with many other friends and family members.  Every single day brought visits with people who have been such an important part of my life in one way or another. 

It was also an amazing opportunity to share my life with Melanie as she got to interact with so many people and listen to stories about our experiences together.  She LOVED every minute of it.  She misses her new Arizona friends and in her own words as we walked through the Phoenix Airport to get on our plane to come home she said, "Momma, I like Arizona, it's a pretty special place."  Yes it is.....it will always be our home away from home and where part of our heart lives.  Thank you to everyone who made our trip so special.  Thank you for letting us visit you and make memories with you.  Thank you for being blessings in our lives!