What Do You Say?

Well tonight I delivered what I think was the most difficult news I have ever delivered in my life.  I've delivered a lot of bad news over the years.  In my years as an assistant principal I would have to tell parents things that you could visibly see broke their hearts about their children.  When my mom died I called several of her family members to break the news which was expected because she had pancreatic cancer but still so hard to say knowing how it would crush someone. 

But tonight was different, for the first time I physically hurt as I broke my little girls' heart when I had to tell her that her Grandpa is dying.  Dad was diagnosed almost a year ago to the day with lung cancer and so we have been talking to her about Grandpa being "sick" and have even had to explain the difference between "cold sick" and "cancer sick".  She has seen him decline from visit to visit but he has always been up and around to play with her or give her loves or force himself through a Dora episode. 

Now he is bed bound and sleeping more than he is awake so we know we probably only have a few weeks left and I felt like we needed to tell her now so she could talk with him a few more times and hopefully understand when he can no longer talk and then eventually passes.  I knew she would be upset but nothing prepares a mommy heart to have her child sob uncontrollably in her arms for over ten minutes and know there is really nothing you can do to take her hurt away. 

I just pray she holds tight to her wonderful memories and feels how much her Grandpa loves her.  She was the sparkle in his life the past four years and nothing gave me more joy than to watch my little princess bring him so much pure joy.  God Bless them both and may God bring Dad peace and Melanie the understanding she needs to handle this and hold her memories tight so that they bring her great joy.  I love you Dad and we will miss you more than you know.  I love you sweet Melanie with all my heart.  I wish I could take your pain away and replace it with nothing but joy, memories and love from Grandpa.

Melanie and Grandpa hanging out together.