Voices of Reason, Moments of Faith, God’s Intervention

Normally I blog all about Melanie and my adventures with her but Tuesday, 12/18/12, was such a crazy day that I couldn’t even share the whole thing on Facebook since they only give you the option to continue reading, and not read on forever so here was my day, yes only one day….

I had been feeling not so great for eight days with a sore throat and runny nose, typical “virus” type stuff that you get from working with children all the time.  I hate going in because you always get that look like “Seriously, you can’t tough this out, IT’S A VIRUS!”   So I had avoided it and as luck would have it my doctor was now out of town until after Christmas.  I woke up Tuesday morning unable to swallow and it was very hard to talk.  That was it, unable to talk, that does not work for me.  As many of you know, I love to talk.  I talk for a living.  I teach children to talk (correctly).  I have been that way all my life.  When I was a teenager (back in the day before texting, emails, and I-Pad’s) it was a weekly occurrence that my Dad would find me on the phone after telling me to get off several times and he would unplug my phone and lecture me under his breath as he walked out with it with the final sentence being, “You are never getting this back!”  Luckily my Mom was a voice of reason in my life at that time and after an acceptable amount of time would talk my Dad back into giving me my phone.  However, upon further thought maybe it was simply she was tired of hearing me talk to her and thought I better get my phone back so I can call people before I drive her crazy.  Either way, worked for me. 

Anyway, back to Tuesday….  I decided I was going in to be seen and I was not going to accept being told it was a virus; they were going to help me!!!  I confidently walked in and asked to see a doctor.  I was seen immediately and given a strep test.  I thought, “Great, quick test, positive result, prescription antibiotics, and on with my day, all before 8:00.”  Then the doctor came in and examined me.   The strep was negative and she said I had “a growth in my tonsil.”  The confidence immediately drained from me and I became worried.  She said that best case scenario it was an abscess in my right tonsil because there was nothing visible on the outside of my tonsil but it was so enlarged it was pushing against my uvula and my uvula was touching my left tonsil and restricting my airway.  She said I would need to get a CT of my neck done immediately and some lab work and probably emergency surgery to reopen my airway, so off I went.  I was okay until I then thought, an abscess is the best case scenario, what is the worst????

 I am probably a little more sensitive about this kind of thing than most due to the fact that I know two amazing men who have both suffered from mouth/throat cancer in the recent years.  One was a dear friend from high school who passed back in May after the cancer that was treated (and thought to be gone) decided to show up in other parts of his body.  The second was my dear pastor who was diagnosed this time last year and has went through an amazing year of surgeries and treatments and appears to be cancer free (PET Scan to follow next week, major prayers for that).  Luckily my pastor recounted his experience publicly because it was certainly his voice of reason that I needed Tuesday.  As I sat there waiting to be seen for further testing I recalled how my pastor had handled the stress, anxiety, fear, unknown, and laid it all at God’s feet to handle.  This is hard for me because I can be a little controlling but I have learned from the experiences of losing both of my parents to cancer that when it comes to the big stuff you are really not in control of the outcome, only the way you choose to approach and handle the situation.  So I just began to pray.  I prayed for the best and if it was any worse, I prayed that God would give me the strength to deal with it and comfort and help Charles and Melanie in any way they needed.  I prayed for the doctors and nurses I would encounter that day.  I went in for the CT which required an IV because they needed contrast.  Due to not being able to swallow to eat or drink I was a little dehydrated and my veins were hard to find and rolling like crazy so after three failed attempts they called in the “vein whisperer”.  She got it first time and we were set.  After the test they put me in what was like a holding cell.  Really it was just like a tiny room with two chairs to wait until they knew where I needed to go next.  Thanks to today’s technology they had my CT up on the computer outside immediately which was good and bad.  Good that they could see, bad that I could hear them analyzing it.  One doctor was sure it was a “mass” as she kept describing it and was sure surgery was necessary.  The other doctor thought it was a puss pocket that could be drained and medicine would clear it up.  The lady who took the scan chimed in a little here and there too.  The decision was made that a specialist would be called in to review the CT and consult so off I went to an actual exam room to wait.  Apparently they needed the holding cell for someone else. J  I sat in there for a long time or maybe just 47 minutes (which seems like forever in this case) while I waited.  I prayed some more.  I thought of both of my dear friends and what they had went through and thought that if this was even a small fraction of the feelings they had been through, how terrible, but then again God was always forefront in their battles and I knew that was the path I was GOING to take and I was even more confident of that then I was of the fact that IT WAS NOT A VIRUS!!! J  So after the waiting I was told they were pretty sure it was actually a serious infectious pocket that had formed and they would drain it a little, give me some steroids and antibiotics, send me home, have me check the swelling and airway, and come back for check-ups.  It was also the first case they had seen of only one tonsil becoming infected on the inside like that and to that extreme without there being an abscess or mass that needed removing so they suggested I may want to be seen by an ENT when all is said and done to have my freakish tonsils checked.  I left soooooo relieved and could not Praise God enough for the results but for more that that, seeing me through my day.  It is moments of faith such as this that make me wonder how people ever get through strife in life without God.

But wait, there’s more…….

I decided to pick Melanie up from school early so that I could go home and just rest without having to go back out.  I figured we could snuggle on the couch, watch a Christmas movie, and just have some mother/daughter time.  Sounds nice huh????  Oh but no, our dog Droopy had other plans.  While I was at the doctor all day Droopy had decided to open some Christmas presents.  One in particular, he just ripped a few getting to the one he wanted.  Without us knowing, someone had sent us a large box of See’s candy.  As Mel and I walked through the door we found our lovable dog with a piece of chocolate hanging out of his mouth.  I could not even imagine where he had gotten it from until I looked outside to see Christmas wrapping paper everywhere and then realized someone had sent us candy and we had put it under the tree and my dogs 13 year old sniffer found it even through the wrapping paper, clear plastic wrap, and box.  I immediately call the vet clinic because I know that chocolate can be toxic for dogs.  They of course asked me to get him there immediately so I loaded me, Mel and the 60 pound basset hound into the car and off we went.  Melanie was whimpering because she was worried about Droopy, Droopy was whimpering because he was scared and probably starting to develop a tummy ache, and while I wanted to whimper too, I instead just prayed.  I know that at the age of 13 our old guy may not have a ton of time left but it’s been a tough year for the Lucas family in area of loss so I just really wanted him to at least make it through one more family holiday.  Confident that if God could heal me that morning he could certainly handle a dog with a sweet tooth, we marched into the vet clinic.  Luckily we got him there in plenty of time.  They induced vomiting until all the contents of his stomach came out (I will spare you the details), rehydrated him with an IV, gave us post care instructions and we were on our way.  We had to watch him for several hours but the vet was fairly confident he had escaped seizures from the chocolate and a heart attack from the mass amounts of sugar. 

I got everyone home and settled.  By this point I needed a whole box of chocolate to eat!  As we sat talking about our day that evening we definitely had a lot to be thankful for and realized that it was really divine intervention that made our day so wonderful.  I had no intention of going to the doctor so I am positive God intervened there and taking my voice certainly convinced me to go.  Had I not gone to the doctor and went to work instead I wouldn’t have been home until after 5:00 and who knows what state Droopy would have been in by then so again while it seemed like an awful, no good, horrible, terrible day it was actually just many amazing (but sometimes difficult) moments that lead to us feeling blessed beyond belief.  And last but certainly not least, after tucking my baby into bed that night, having Droopy curl up comfortably on his bed, realizing that my throat was practically pain free and I was talking without any problems, I sat and read the truly heart wrenching stories of funerals that had taken place that day for the victims in Connecticut, and all I dwelled on was how lucky I was to have my little girl to hug and tuck in.  So PRAISE GOD for the people he has placed in my life that are the voices of reason just when you need them, PRAISE GOD for His divine intervention into this stubborn woman’s life and PRAISE GOD for being the center of my moments of faith.  I pray there are more.  May everyone have a blessed Christmas and a faith filled New Year!

 

It's beginning to look a lot like..........

Well, if you were to finish the title of this post in the traditional way the answer would be Christmas.  Am I the only one who felt like you spent October 31st doing the whole Halloween thing and then woke up on November 1st and it was as if Christmas was the very next week and Thanksgiving had just passed us right by.  This was especially true today as I made our Christmas photo cards, answered the door twice for deliveries of Christmas gifts I had ordered, and finished the rough draft (yes there's a rough draft, I'm a teacher with a touch of OCD I think, so of course there is a rough draft) of our Christmas letter.  In my defense I have the month off so it really is the perfect time to get things ready for Christmas since time just flies by once Thanksgiving is over.  But usually I seem to live in my own secret little world preparing ahead so that I can take more time to enjoy.  This year has been different.  Christmas commercials have taken over political ones, businesses are already decorated for Christmas, and stores have "leaked" their Black Friday specials weeks in advance and are starting at like 8:00.  WHAT??????  As a person with a spouse who lives for Black Friday you really have taken all the sport out of it.  My husband used to poor over Black Friday ads on Thanksgiving (this gave me a break from watching football all day long), map out his course because stores had their own deals (now they are all the same) and then he would head out just as I was going to bed with his list, a map, and a kiss for good luck only to get home and crawl into bed just as Melanie was waking up.  This year he will be able to hit Wal-Mart at 8:00, get everything in one place, and be home by 10:00.  How is that ANY different from any other night of shopping???  The sport in Black Friday is gone, much like the focus on Thanksgiving this year.  So I have decided to focus a little more on Thanksgiving in the next week or so.  I thought I would start with a post about what I am thankful for.  I then realized that is the exact subject of my very first post last year.  I then realized I am just as thankful for the very same things.  So here's a few things specific to this year:

I am still so thankful for my Dad.  He passed in April losing his battle with cancer but I am thankful that he was here in Reno so that I could spend his last year with him making many priceless memories with him and Melanie.

I am still so thankful for my husband, Charles.  He was so amazing this year during Dad's illness.  Juggling an 80 hour work week and the schedule that I had with working full time, caring for Dad, and chasing after Mel was not easy but he did an amazing job and even put up with all the emotions that come when you lose someone so close to you.

I am still so thankful for my sister and her amazing husband.  I have always thought they were pretty great (okay maybe sis and I had a few bad years there during our teen years) ;-)  but they were truly wonderful offering so much help and support over the past year and a half. 

I am still so thankful for the wonderful school and amazing teachers that Melanie has.  Words cannot express how good it does a mommy heart when you know that your child is so loved and cared for when they are away from you.  True blessings in our lives.

I am still so thankful for our jobs.  Charles and I have jobs in our chosen professions that more than pay the bills and not everyone has that for sure, not to mention the many little blessings that they give us just by the nature of what we do.

I am still so thankful for Melanie.  She makes me smile inside and out.  Pure joy.

I am still so thankful for all of our friends and family.  There are not enough words and not enough time to thank all of you that mean so much to us.

I am still so thankful too for reality TV, country music, the Food Network, and Starbucks.  Simple pleasures.

Most recently I am thankful for the family vacation we were able to take to Chicago.  It was a much needed trip for nothing more than pleasure, leaving nothing behind to worry about, and we enjoyed every minute of it.  I hope we take time for more of these in the next year.  As we get closer to Thanksgiving I hope you take time to reflect on the memories and blessings you hold dear.  From the Lucas home to yours, much love and a very Happy THANKSGIVING!!!!

Top of Sears Tower 103rd floor, glass bottom looking over Chicago

Mel sliding like a penguin at Shedd Aquarium

Chicago out of Lego's

Dora in 4 D at Shedd Aquarium

Charles and Mel on the flying bicycles at Lego Discovery Center

Melanie and I waiting for the dolphin show at Shedd




 

 

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Having now spent four years in a place where you actually get to experience four seasons (unlike Phoenix, Arizona where you just get summer and some other time of year with temps over 110 and wildfires everywhere that I personally believe is like a testing ground for Hell) I have personally decided that my favorite season is definitely Autumn. 

As I mentioned in my last post, sometime in September baseball season ends (at least Triple A does which means we get to see Charles for more than a half hour in the morning) and Starbucks brings back PUMPKIN which for me means Vente Non-Fat Pumpkin Chai Latte No Water PLEASE!  This marks the beginning of my favorite season.  Not only do I love Fall for a lot of the traditional reasons that someone would such as changing leaves, cool crisp mornings but beautiful days, football, etc.  I have come to absolutely LOVE what we do as a family this time of year.

A favorite for our family is definitely Apple Hill.  It is a collection of about 40 farms from apple orchards, pumpkin farms, wineries, to Christmas tree farms.  You drive around these little country roads stopping as often as you want to pick fruit and pumpkins, enjoy homemade yummies such as fritters, pies, apple doughnuts, apple ice cream, many offer crafts and activities for kids as well.  It is an amazing family day outside in the beautiful sunshine truly celebrating Fall and enjoying a very special part of California that truly looks like God's country.  Our favorite farm by far is High Hill Ranch.  We've done it a little different every year but this year we started at the outdoor BBQ where we had lunch right off the grill.

After lunch we have a favorite craft stand where a very talented lady makes crafts out of hollowed out gourds.  Melanie's favorite thing is that she sells craft kits where you can make your own ornament.  This year she picked a snowman (pics to follow).  Then it was off to the candy factory to decorate chocolate covered marshmallows. YUMMMMM!!!!

Melanie was then ready to ride a pony.  They have a little pony riding pen set up by a trout pond.  Melanie was super hesitant because as she watched the ponies led around in a circle she was positive that if she got on, the pony in front of her just might need to poop during the ride and it just might come flying back right at her.  She watched for a few minutes and since poop did not seem to be an issue she decided she was ready to ride.  She worried for nothing.  No poop from the horse in front of her.  But hers decided he needed to use the restroom just as Mel was climbing down.  She jumped and was SAFE!!!  Ahhhhh, life on the farm.

From there it was onto the hayride and pumpkin patch.  Melanie of course picked this green warty type pumpkin that only a mommy pumpkin could love (typical Mel) and she very wisely turned it into a witch pumpkin which you'll see later.

By this time the farm was crazy crowded, like Disneyland crowded, so we headed to the pie shop and stocked up on pies and cakes for us and many to share and then it was back to the car for the gorgeous drive home through the mountains with the changing leaves and a pass by Lake Tahoe.  Always one of my favorite ways to celebrate Fall.

Another fun place we discovered this Fall was Andelin Family Farm right here in Sparks, Nevada.  It is a wonderful local little farm that I decided to drag the family out to on Nevada Day.  In addition to just wanting to try it out I thought it might be a good time to hopefully help clarify Mel's misconception that milk comes from cow's butts.  I am sure many of you remember this little bit of knowledge she shared with me as we passed many dairy farms on our way to Portland over the summer.  So as we got to Andelin Farm I was very excited to see some cows along with many other farm animals.  We visited the chicken coop and also the turkey pen (felt sorry for those fat guys, only a few weeks left to live), then off to the area where the "cows" were.  Well the cows were way off in the distance but Mel got to chat with the farmer who educated Melanie on the two yaks and one bull that he had.  Mel still seems pretty confused because she thinks yaks are types of cows and they also make milk from their bottoms.  So it wasn't the most educational day but we had fun feeding the goats, getting kisses from a llama, riding horses, watching a puppet show, getting lost in the corn maze, and playing in a mini play vegetable farm.  This farm is a definite place we will revisit every year.  The funniest moment of the day was when we were all fighting our way through the corn maze and as Mel would lead and let corn stalks smack me in the face talking non-stop about which way to go or not go she stops dead in her tracks and says, "I really talk too much, don't I Mom?"  As I just stare at her she turns back around and starts walking again and says, "Yep, I talk too much."  At least she recognizes her weaknesses. :)

In addition to these fun family days we have of course enjoyed the typical Fall family activities such as decorating pumpkins, dressing up in costumes (Melanie of course had to be ketchup, a sure sign of too many baseball games and hot dog races), and Halloween parties with friends.  Truly fun times we wouldn't trade for anything.

While there are blessings from every season, I definitely think I enjoy Fall the best.  I hope you and your family make many wonderful memories this season and many seasons to come.  Much love from the Lucas home to yours.  Happy Fall.

You Know That Fall is Here When......

You know that Fall is here when baseball season ends and Starbucks serves Pumpkin Chai Latte.  Everyone organizes their lives around some calendar, some use the traditional January to December calendar but in the Lucas household we strategically plan our lives around the baseball and school calendar.  This past week another baseball season came to an end.  The Reno Aces had another great season and are currently in Omaha playing in the championship series.  Our final home game was on Wednesday and of course Mel and I were there.

It's always a bittersweet time for me.  In the middle of the season I can give you a laundry list of reasons of why working in the professional sports industry is not all it is cracked up to be.  At the top of that list would be that Charles works 80-90 hour weeks at times with great sacrifice being made by our family.  But then we get to the end of the season and I am always so blessed by the situation we are in.  What little boy (and grown man) doesn't dream of working in professional sports, driving up every day to a baseball stadium, meeting sports legends, and sharing the love of the game with many and getting paid while doing it.  My daughter gets to have experiences most children don't as she goes behind the scenes of a sporting operation, watches fireworks every week, and attends more sporting events than I can even count. 

Mel playing catch with dad on the field before a Sunday game.

We get to treat family and friends to nights at the ballpark for hometown American fun.

Melanie and our friends the Lauf's

And the one I think I love the most is the charity we are able to give to schools, children, and non-profit groups.  The Reno Aces have come through time and time again as I have asked for a variety of things to help children in our community.  While we may sacrifice a lot of family time to the sport of baseball there is no greater evening than: standing next to your child, hand on your heart, listening to the national anthem, nine innings of well played ball, walking around talking with people who have become like family for as many nights as you see them in one season, eating yummy ballpark food, Melanie helping daddy in the ticket office, pulling out a win, and the whole family watching fireworks snuggled under a blanket to end the night. 

So as it all comes to an end for one more season I can't help but sit and sip a Pumpkin Chai Latte from Starbucks and count my blessings.  Fall is here.   Until next spring...........

 

Parenting at the Wal-Mart

I knew the title would get you to read it! :)  We have all witnessed, whether in person or on some You-Tube video, a horrific scene of some poor mom loosing it at Wal-Mart and yelling at her child in a fashion she certainly wouldn't be proud of.  If you are a mom you have also, whether we admit it or not, have had at least one experience where our child has just lost it in public and as we desperately try every technique we know (usually in less than 30 seconds which is probably why it never works) to get our child to stop screaming, stop touching, stop doing whatever it is they are doing that make us wonder where this child came from.  Some of us handle these moments with amazing composure and others not.  The ones who don't end up on You-Tube.  I've had an incident when Mel was two where she starting crying at the top of her lungs because I took something away she had grabbed off the shelf.  We were 3/4 of the way done and I soooooo did not want to have to leave the store so I threw the mommy look, the threat, and the super quiet serious voice at her all at once.  It didn't work, but that's a story for another day.  Today I want to share how every now and then  by the grace of God, textbook parenting advice does work.

Last week was a long week.  I had been sick all week long and wouldn't you know, it was the first week of school and Charles worked every night until at least 10:30.  So after taking Melanie to swim practice on Friday I decided we would stop at the Wal-Mart to pick up a few things we needed and head home.  Mel was really tired too.  Melanie was awesome while shopping even when we couldn't find the Pirate Booty snack she wanted to take to the ball game.  She took it all in stride, no big deal, awesome.  So as we headed to the check-out we passed the Goldfish display and they had those little boxes that look like lunch milk cartons and even though we had several bags of Goldfish at home I knew how sometimes packaging is everything, so when she asked if she could have one I said yes and we proceeded to the check-out.

Did I mention Melanie was tired, well, she was.  She decided to sit on the floor while we waited for the person in front of us.  Possibly I could have ignored it but I really cringe when I think of the amount of germs on a store floor at the end of the day, plus she was wearing a skirt, so I made her stand up and explained that the floor was really dirty.  It was now our turn to load items onto the belt so as she started to sit on the floor again I asked her what she was doing and she knew exactly what I was talking about and stood up.  By now there was an older couple in line behind us.  Just as I finished getting everything out of the cart I turn around and you guessed it, Melanie was sitting on the floor just staring up at me.  So without a word I took her Goldfish box off the belt and handed it to her and asked her to put it back on the shelf because we wouldn't be able to get it today.  And this is how it went:

Melanie in the whiniest voice you can imagine," I don't want to put them back."

Me in the calmest voice you can imagine, "I know you don't want to honey but I asked you not to sit on the floor and you made the choice to do exactly what I asked you not to."

Melanie still super whiny, "I don't know where they go."

Me pointing, "Right there."

With tears in her eyes she placed them back on the shelf and looked at me.

I asked her, "Why did Mommy make you put them back?"

Melanie said, "Because I sat on the dirty floor after you asked me not to."

My final comment, "Thank you for putting them back like I asked, I'm sorry you made the choice to sit on the dirty floor when I asked you not to.  I love you.  Now please go and stand at the end of the cart so I can load up and pay and we can go home."  Melanie went exactly where I asked her to go.

The gentleman behind me said, "Well done.  You don't see parenting like that often (I'm pretty sure he meant at the Wal-Mart) and it worked out so well."

Before I could even say thank you, Melanie looked at us from above her glasses and said, "Didn't work out for me!"

It was all we could all do not to laugh. :) 

By the time we got to the car Mel was smiling like always and was over it.  Sometimes we loose it, sometimes we handle it perfectly, and usually it is somewhere in between but mothering is a series of lessons guided by love.

To Sleep or Not to Sleep

When you have young children it's amazing the things you spend the most time discussing and wondering about.  Pottying and sleeping have always been two big topics for us.  From the time someone first mentioned to me that I should start trying to potty train Melanie at the age of 22 months until she made it through her first week of preschool accident free which was at 36 months we talked so much about peeing and pooping that I thought I was going to scream if I had to think about it one more minute.  The issue of sleep takes a close second in the amount of discussion time it has been given. 

Melanie has always been a good sleeper except the first six weeks of her life was pure hell in the sleep department.  I seriously think someone needs to invent some machine that runs from mom to baby in bassinet so that newborns can self feed because being up every two hours is insane.  Six weeks to three months was better.  We slowly increased the amount of food which meant she slept longer at one time.  At three months we turned the corner and I no longer felt like a zombie.  If feeding was timed just right Charles could do the final feeding of the night and she would sleep for 5-6 hours which meant that I could get a WHOLE night of sleep and she took two naps a day.  HEAVEN!!!!  Since being a year she has slept 11 hour nights AND takes a 1 1/2-2 hour nap EVERY day.  I thought that was an awful lot of sleeping but then again she does not stop moving when she is awake so it's a pretty fair trade. 

Lately she has been getting up earlier and earlier and earlier.  This doesn't bother me so much during the week because I am up but it is killing me on the weekends.  I thought it was because of summer and the stupid time change and the light pouring through the window and I was considering buying the thickest curtains I could find or even bricking up her windows if necessary, anything to sleep past 6:00 on a Saturday morning.  Until...........one day when she didn't get a nap and then slept the next day until 7:30 and it hit me that maybe she has reached the stage where she no longer really needs a nap. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!  I count on that time on the weekends. I NEED a nap and it is the only time I can get one. 

So, the discussions and contemplating have begun.  She can easily still fall asleep for a nap but it does mean if she gets a good one in she will not sleep past 6:00 the next morning.  I have considered maybe only naps every other day which is what I believe she converts to at preschool this August.  I have also considered a "quiet time" at the same time as nap time where I put her in bed but give her a basket of books or her V-Reader and set the timer for an hour.  If she is asleep after that I will let her sleep a little while longer, if not, she can get off her bed and let the madness continue.

Thoughts? Experiences?  Feedback?  Certainly not the biggest dilemma I will face but gathering input is always good.  Now off for a nap....... :)

A post would not be complete without pictures so here are some of my favorite sleeping pics....

Mel asleep in her swing at 8 months

Zonked out in the car at around 6 months

Mel asleep in the car on our last trip to San Francisco, April 2012

Mel asleep at an Aces game (first season)

On the way home from the zoo January 2012

We Got a Fish

For those of you who are new parents, read this post carefully for it contains wisdom no one ever passed on to us as new parents.  You would have thought that in all the advice given to us over the years about discipline, potty training, sleeping and eating habits and all the things to avoid and /or do, someone would have warned us about birthday parties and getting pets.........now please stop laughing at us and tell us what to do with these fish!

Melanie turned four a week ago and all she wanted for her birthday was a party at one of those kid places where it's "all inclusive" and they run the whole party for you, stress free (sounds too good to be true, huh???? just wait) and for her gift, a fish.  I worked on the party first.  I set aside a Saturday morning to call the place and talk with them about the details and then decided to make her invitations online so I could crop a picture of her on it.  Booking the place and setting the details was a piece of cake.  Life was good.  Then came the invites.  Melanie could not decide on a theme and wanted two different ones actually (super heroes where I could put her in as Super Woman for the boys, and Ariel the Little Mermaid for the girls).  I spent more time then I should have explaining why she could only have one theme, sometimes "because I said so" really is the right answer. Needless to say I could not find either which began a two hour session of me creating invites in a variety of characters I thought she might like and her not liking any of them.  At that point I was no longer enjoying myself so I told her I would just make whatever I wanted which is what I did.  I found a website with cute little girlie backgrounds ( no characters attached) and cropped her picture onto it.  I filled in all the details, showed it to her and her answer was............."Perfect momma, why didn't you make it that way to start?"  Needless to say I decided it was nap time then.  What I did not anticipate was all the "little" things you will do to prepare for a birthday: cake, balloons, goodie bags, extra food and drinks, extra socks for the bounce structures, etc.  I took endless trips to stores for just one more thing.  Did I mention, she settled on Tinker Bell as a theme and requested I redo her invites in Tinker Bell, one look at my face when she asked and then said, "It's okay momma, I like them the other way too." 

Reserved party place where kiddos can jump and go crazy = $289, Goodie bags and balloon order = $82.00, Sheet cake that was way too big that the bakery lady talked me into = $40.00, Extra food and drinks = $45.00, The fun the kids had and the pure joy on my daughters face to spend her special day with her friends = PRICELESS!  What my husband gave since I didn't warn him about the bill ahead of time = FORGIVENESS! ;-)  It was a wonderful day, would not have changed it for the world.

So the party was over and it was time to focus on Melanie's second request, a fish.  How hard can that be???  We went to the pet store and headed straight for the aquariums to pick one out.  They had many different sizes and designs priced anywhere from $20.00 to thousands of dollars.  Not sure what we wanted we headed to the fish area to pick out some fish.  Melanie looked them all over and chose some fan tailed goldfish so I called the lady over and she asked me how big my tank was and I informed her we didn't have one.  Thus started an education I never asked for.  She responded, "Oh you won't be taking those fish home today lady."  Thus began the lecture on how we would have to take the tank home, set it up, and allow it to run for 24 hours before we could put fish in it.  That was 20 minutes of my life I will never get back.  I then proceeded to get the "pretty stuff" to decorate the inside.  An older lady was parked right in front of the fake plant stuff.  At first I waited thinking, "How long can this take?"  After about 10 minutes I decided to collect everything else I needed and come back.  Ten minutes later I returned and she was still there literally looking back and forth between two fake looking plants that looked almost identical both costing $8.99.  Fearing that the thoughts in my head may slip out of my mouth at any moment I decided we didn't need fake looking plants and we proceeded to the register.  When the lady told me it would cost $91.00 I almost choked.  As I paid, she asked Melanie what type of fish she was getting and Melanie told her and her response was "Ewww, they can be really dirty!"  Nice sales technique and nice way to crush the dreams of a four year old who thinks that goldfish are awesome.  We left, we went home, and we set up our new "environment".  Melanie was soooooooo excited, Charles couldn't believe it was costing us $100 and I just wondered what happened to the day when you could get a goldfish in a bag, a glass bowl ON THE SAME DAY, spend $10 and have your first pet.  Ahhhhh, those were the days.  I took my Geritol and went to bed. ;-) 



Melanie and her new fish.  You try to say no to that face. ;-)


The next day we went to buy the fish waiting precisely 24 hours and guess what.....the pet store was closed.  That should have been a sign but nooooooooooo I used my smart phone and found one that was open and off we went to buy the fish of my little girls' dreams if it killed me.  We bought our fish and got them home and introduced them to their new home.  Melanie loved them instantly.  She has responsibly fed them every day for the past week and checks on them day and night.  Exactly one week later and the tank is leaking near the filter and one little guy (Dory) is not looking so good.  I suspect we will have a flushing ceremony by weeks end.  As I tell people this story they all say "Oh yeah......" and some story follows about goldfish not being great fish to get.  Where was this helpful advice weeks ago when I thought this was the best idea ever?  I guess we will wait and see.  Pray for little Nemo and Dory.  Pray for Mel when their time does come.  Pray that the new fish that I am sure we will get will like it's new "environment" more than these seem to.  I will pray for all you new parents out there for you too will have at least one birthday party that you will wonder what you were thinking when you add up the money and time you spent on it and that first pet that you weren't nearly as prepared for as you thought you were.  Ahhhh, the blessings of parenthood.

A Year in the Life of Melanie

This entry is dedicated to my mom.  The hardest thing about my mom not being here to talk to is that on days when difficult or super exciting things happen with Melanie I don't have her to share them with. She would totally understand my tears of pain and/or joy and my poor husband wouldn't have to just hand me tissues wondering when I am going to stop blubbering like an idiot. :)  By the way, thank you honey for never making me feel like I'm crazy during those moments, you're the best!  See, my mom was the same way, she would cry when we cried and also cry just out of pure pride.  I have had many of these mixed emotional moments over the past year with Melanie as we have survived 3 year old Teacher Marie Bootcamp at the Magic Treehouse.

Survived is really the wrong word to use because it makes it sound like it was difficult.  It was not.  For those of you that don't know about the Magic Treehouse, it is the most amazing preschool I have ever been to.  It is an old victorianish looking house that has been transformed into a preschool.  It has a great yard with an actual treehouse on the playground that the kids love to play in.  It is green and lush and the kind of place you could easily spend a summer afternoon relaxing in.  But that is not the magical part, the magical part is the ladies who run it.  They have now been doing this for 25 years and have created a kid centered learning environment that all children thrive in based on love and discipline and lots of learning.  Your stay at the treehouse begins with Teacher Marie.  She has easily become a member of our family loving our little girl for exactly who she is and yet still helping her to grown into what she can become.  It was easy to "survive" the year with her and we'd do it again every year if we could.  The word bootcamp sounds harsh too but it is just that, the year is spent preparing them for how to be students in much the same way a military bootcamp prepares soldiers for battle.  The daily routines and lessons are put in place so that these little minds and bodies will be ready to take on all the knowledge they will need for success.  Unlike the military though, these children are treated as precious individuals each given what they need to be the best they can be.  They are loved beyond measure.  Of course I did not know it would be this fabulous before we started.  I did my research and observed and hoped and prayed that it would be great but you can never really tell what will happen.  However, know or not know, I still would have bawled my eyes out the day I left her there for the first time because it's hard.  It's hard to watch your little girl grow up. It's hard to leave her with people you don't know.  It's hard to leave her knowing she's nervous about doing something new.  It's just hard.  But I did leave her and as she waved to me from the waving window with tears in her eyes and I waved back with tears in mine I knew she would be fine and I knew it would be a year of blossoming....

Melanie's First day of Preschool at the Magic Treehouse





Water Day at the Treehouse with her good friend Ethan

 

Super Hero at the Treehouse (thanks uncle Larry for the cape)

Hawaiian Luau Day at the Treehouse

St. Jude Trike-a-Thon (learning to give to others)

Pumpkin Decorating for the Treehouse

Ariel at Halloween

Melanie and her friend Lola Jean at the Thanksgiving Feast
They had Mac-n-Cheese at the 1st Thanksgiving right???

School Picture

Before School Doughnuts....YUM!

Melanie's Dance Recital

Our gift to Teacher Marie to thank her for all the "gifts" she gave to us.



It has been a year we will never forget and will always be grateful for. Melanie is now a Rainbow at the Magic Treehouse and we are excited about her upcoming year with Teacher Denise.  Did she cry her first day of being a Rainbow? Did I?  Of course we did.  It's just hard.  But a text telling me she was doing great, a prayer that God will be with her, and a silent moment remembering that Mom watches over her always (probably with tears of pride in her eyes) and I had a good day.  The smile when I picked her up that first day told me she did too.

Moving On

I think most people know by now that my father passed away on Tuesday, April 24th after a year long battle with lung cancer.  Mom passed away 7 1/2 years ago from pancreatic/liver cancer.  The biggest difference in the two situations for me was.......Melanie. 

When Mom died I stayed in Sierra Vista for two weeks and helped Dad with all the details and things that needed attention and by the time I made it back home to Phoenix life had just moved on as if nothing had happened.  While I was surrounded by my amazing husband and wonderful friends it was such a lonely feeling because we as adults really tend to tip toe around death and ask each other in almost a rhetorical way "how are you?" or "is everything okay?".  Let's face it, if we asked someone those questions and they actually broke down throwing them self on the floor bawling uncontrollably (which is kind of what you feel like doing sometimes), people would back away awkwardly wishing they would have just resisted the urge to ask in the first place.  So when someone asks how you're doing after losing someone close to you, the response is usually "hanging in there" or " we're taking it day by day" which is also true and certainly causes much less of a scene even if you tear up when saying it.  So I have been asked that magical questions in person, through emails and texts, and voice mails at least 100 times in the past week and my response is..........we are taking it day by day and this time I can say that we truly are but mainly because of Melanie.  God has worked wonders through her. :)

While I am quite biased by being her mommy, Melanie is amazing.  She tears up with me when emotion is overwhelming, always knows when I need a big hug and never lets much time pass without telling me that she loves me.  She also initiates a conversation about her Grandpa at least once a day.  This does two things for me, one it helps me to know that she is processing things in a very healthy manner which really was my biggest concern through all this and two it helps us both to remember Grandpa and celebrate all the things we loved about him.  Every day she will ask a question like, "Grandpa won't be able to come over for dinner again or Grandpa won't be able to come and watch me dance will he?"  While these seem heartbreaking and I usually tear up for a moment every time she says something like that, it is always followed up with a story of when Grandpa did do something fun with us so we end up laughing and snuggling. 

Mel and I snuggling at Pier 39 in San Francisco

Her favorite seems to be chocolate milk.  Before Dad got sick he used to pick Melanie up from daycare at least once a week and would take her to the playground and then back to his condo for snack and playtime.  Snack was ALWAYS chocolate milk and some kind of cookie.  A mother's dream. ;-)  Melanie of course was bouncing around by the time I got there and Dad would just shrug at me and smile.  The privilege of being a grandparent I guess. Mel's had a few chocolate milk's at home since Grandpa passed which always leads to a story about her and Grandpa after school.  Apparently snack time with Grandpa also included M'n'M's most of the time.  :) 

Mel, Grandpa, Droopy, and Elmo having a Tea Party

I look forward to mine and Mel's moments of reflection and memories about Grandpa. While I know they may not remain a daily occurrence as time goes on, they have helped us all move on day by day feeling loved and blessed and knowing Grandpa and Grandma are smiling down on us remembering the good times and planning for the day we all meet up again.

Thank you to everyone for your prayers, love, support, and for being brave enough to ask how it's going. ;-)  Lots of love from our home to yours!

What Do You Say?

Well tonight I delivered what I think was the most difficult news I have ever delivered in my life.  I've delivered a lot of bad news over the years.  In my years as an assistant principal I would have to tell parents things that you could visibly see broke their hearts about their children.  When my mom died I called several of her family members to break the news which was expected because she had pancreatic cancer but still so hard to say knowing how it would crush someone. 

But tonight was different, for the first time I physically hurt as I broke my little girls' heart when I had to tell her that her Grandpa is dying.  Dad was diagnosed almost a year ago to the day with lung cancer and so we have been talking to her about Grandpa being "sick" and have even had to explain the difference between "cold sick" and "cancer sick".  She has seen him decline from visit to visit but he has always been up and around to play with her or give her loves or force himself through a Dora episode. 

Now he is bed bound and sleeping more than he is awake so we know we probably only have a few weeks left and I felt like we needed to tell her now so she could talk with him a few more times and hopefully understand when he can no longer talk and then eventually passes.  I knew she would be upset but nothing prepares a mommy heart to have her child sob uncontrollably in her arms for over ten minutes and know there is really nothing you can do to take her hurt away. 

I just pray she holds tight to her wonderful memories and feels how much her Grandpa loves her.  She was the sparkle in his life the past four years and nothing gave me more joy than to watch my little princess bring him so much pure joy.  God Bless them both and may God bring Dad peace and Melanie the understanding she needs to handle this and hold her memories tight so that they bring her great joy.  I love you Dad and we will miss you more than you know.  I love you sweet Melanie with all my heart.  I wish I could take your pain away and replace it with nothing but joy, memories and love from Grandpa.

Melanie and Grandpa hanging out together.

How Was I Made????

This blog was started so that I can record my memories of Melanie and all the funny little stories we have together but unfortunately I don't get on to blog as often as I would like........something to work on.  However, this was one of my favorite memories of Melanie on our recent trip to Arizona.

Time is such a relative thing to young children.  They really do not understand how far off tomorrow, next week, or next year is so I try very hard to not tell Melanie about something we are going to do in the future unless I want to answer five million (and no that is NOT an exaggerated number) questions about it.  So about a week before we were going on our trip to Arizona I mentioned it to Melanie.  She asked a lot of questions about why we were going, who we would see, what we would do, etc.  The typical questions.  She also asked me what I liked about Arizona.  I told her of course one of the things I liked the most about it was that it was where she was born.  That of course made her smile. 

On the fourth day of our trip we were driving around looking for where we were supposed to be going.  I wouldn't say we were lost because I knew exactly where we were, I just didn't know exactly how to get where I wanted to be.  As I am talking to myself about how I hate Phoenix traffic and how confusing the area was Melanie reminds me that I really love it here and I had told her so.  She is awesome at correcting me and reminding me of what I say by the way.  She also then reminded me that she was born there.  She then asked, "Momma, did you and dad make me here?"  Easy question, I got this one, "Yes honey, we made you here."  Then she asks, "What did you make me out of, Lego's or wood?"  Luckily she only gave me two choices because had she left it open ended I may have been caught so off guard that I may not have known how to answer.  I also LOVE how children relate everything to their prior knowledge.  So I responded with, "Well Melanie, God actually made you."  A little exasperated because I wasn't really answering what she wanted to know she said, "Okay, what did HE make me out of?"  I of course said, "God made you out of love honey." She responded with, "He's good at making stuff and I'm glad He didn't use Lego's because when I got too tall I would have broken and crashed down like this, CRASH."  And that was that, no further commentary.  Thank goodness she was good with that...........for now anyway.

Lesson learned, next time spring for the GPS in the rental so you don't end up with endless amounts of time in the car to talk about things like where do babies come from.

Melanie cruising in the car the first day she had her big girl car seat, now she is almost ready for just a booster.

Home Away from Home

The question I have been asked the most in the past three days is, "How was your trip?"  Melanie and I went to spend a week in Arizona which isn't that unusual.  We have made several trips back to Arizona since moving to Reno 3 1/2 years ago.  This one was a little different.  It wasn't a business trip but it also wasn't just for pleasure.  I had been feeling like I had gotton so wrapped up in life and the day to day things you do that I needed an emotional break with people who have known me forever to get a little grounded and refresh my perspective.  To fully understand we have to take a step back to a day in December.......

The old saying, when it rains, it pours could not have been more true than one Monday this past December when it seemed like there was nothing but an endless supply of bad news.  I start every work day bright and early around 5:00.  I am the only one up and I begin my routine of getting ready which includes some quiet time on the couch reading emails, texts, Facebook, etc. and thinking over my day.  As I checked each form of technological communication I learned the following:

1.  A dear friend from high school had been told he was losing his battle with cancer and had less than a year to live.
2.  Another dear friend and pastor who I had worked for was diagnosed with throat and tongue cancer that would probably take his voice for at least the better part of a year and he would be going through major surgery and treatments.
3.  One of the groomsmen from our wedding had lost his wife in a tragic boating accident.
4.  Two of my uncles had lost their mothers (seperate families).

All of this amongst the fact that my own dad was losng his battle with cancer and going through a tough time.  It seemed every email, text, voicemail, etc that I attended to had tragic news that literally left you speechless and just heartbroken for the people so directly effected by it.  I didn't know who to call or email first and whatever do you say.  So I prayed.  I prayed and then shared all of the news with Charles and we went about our day in a stunned and overwhelmed manner.  Aside from praying, my next instinct was that I wanted to be there for these people to offer whatever comfort I could and since several of these circumstances were occuring in Arizona it seemed a trip was fitting but not in God's plan.  As I looked at making arrangements to go it was just not possible with what we had going on here with our own family.  But I have learned over the years (and it was a TOUGH lesson for me) to wait on God's timing so I did. 

Melanie and I were able to make the trip just last week and it was...... blessed.  Like most trips to Arizona it was a whirlwind as there are so many people to see and yet still plan things to keep my preschooler occupied. 

I got to see the dear friend who was told he is losing his battle with cancer.  He is still fighting.  It is heartbreaking to me that he and his family have to go through this and far beyond my comprehension of why things like this happen but being in his home is inspiring and you can't leave without feeling blessed for having been there and shared time with them. 

I got to see my dear friend and pastor who has completed his surgery with AMAZING success and has finished all treatments to keep those nasty cancer germs from popping up somewhere.  While he has some "battle wounds"  he has NOT lost his voice, his ability to eat on his own, or his amazing spirit.  Endless praises to God for how He has seen him through this horrific battle. 

I got to see my aunt and uncle and offer hugs and condolences for their loss in December and really enjoyed a wonderful visit.  Aside from these three very important visits that were so crucial for me because we are often not able to be there for people in the way we want to because of living so far away, we got to visit with many other friends and family members.  Every single day brought visits with people who have been such an important part of my life in one way or another. 

It was also an amazing opportunity to share my life with Melanie as she got to interact with so many people and listen to stories about our experiences together.  She LOVED every minute of it.  She misses her new Arizona friends and in her own words as we walked through the Phoenix Airport to get on our plane to come home she said, "Momma, I like Arizona, it's a pretty special place."  Yes it is.....it will always be our home away from home and where part of our heart lives.  Thank you to everyone who made our trip so special.  Thank you for letting us visit you and make memories with you.  Thank you for being blessings in our lives!